If...

alright....

I'm watching Malaysia vs Indonesia on football game in GBK now, but my head keep thinking about something  wedge.

I don't know why this thing can stay in my mind along this day. And after saw a beautiful moment between my father and his wife this night (they do in every night, actually), I feel like... 

Alone.

So, this is that thing I always thinking about this day:

If I had a boyfriend on my 17th birthday...

So that's it. Those nine words still keep in my mind. 

It doesn't mean anything, actually. But, I never had a boyfriend on my birthday. So I just...

One thing : My 17th birthday will not happen in my senior high school time. fufufu. It will happen exactly on my long holiday after my graduation of my senior high. haaaah.

My 17th birthday happen on a time where every my beloved friends going to out of town, looking for some luck to a better future, go to college, be independent and better human, and leave me alone.

Well, seems like I don't have to worried about 'loneliness' cause it already be my friend on everynight. hmm. 

But...

Yeah, I was thinking that "17th is a fool. Why is everybody worried about that? Why there's must be a big party to celebrate it?"

But I just know that... 17th is mean that somebody is going to make various problems and serious decisions. And for me, that serious decision is : where I want to go and what I wanna be. 

To make a hard decision and to carry that decision out to a real life, I guess I should have a partner. A very right partner just to give me some yells just like, "I'm here.." or "you can do it, trust me." and 

anything else.

Well, everyone can give those yells to me. Even if right now, or even if in my 17th birthday, and even if in everyday of my life. But it's true there is a big different when your friends or your acquaintance saying those yells compared with your special one. 

I'm not trying to changes our subject but suddenly my head dizzy and I feel sleepy, so..

Good night.

just, forget about this post. It's very useless.