The Beginning

Hello again, everybody! I miss you!

How’s life? I hope everything’s okay with you. It’s Easter time, so happy long weekend everyone!

Oh my god, I miss talking about life. Continuing the previous post, this post I name ‘The Beginning’, as it is the real beginning for my life to be a real independent woman. Guess what? I got a job! Yeay! I am working in an international logistics company based in Jakarta and living my own life here. Yup, Jakarta, never thought that I’d meet you this soon. And for god’s sake, you’re never be easy, J-town.

Before 2017 ended, I wasted three months working as a Front Officer in a sophisticated hotel in Bintan, five star actually. It was amazing place. I met several incredible people who taught me to be tough and to have fun. Working in hospitality gave me learning to be friendly and understand people more. Then I found a passion there in myself that I like to help strangers. Talking and sharing with strangers are my favorite parts. Unfortunately, the contract just lasted for three months only and I moved on. I’d never forget the beautiful beach, the smell of wooden floor in that hotel, and of course, the most delicious birthday chocolate cake. Thank you, The Sanchaya!

Few days after, I flew to Yogyakarta to set up my graduation ceremony. I was so thank ful that I was surrounded with my family, my bestfriends, and my lover. I took my family to Prambanan temple and Gembira Loka zoo and that was soooo fun. Then my parents and my sister flew back to Tanjungpinang and went on working the usual daily life.

After the graduation, I had the time when I was so frustrated. Jobless. Yup. I woke up at the morning and opened up my laptop to register myself in several big companies’ websites where I put my hope in one of the vacancies there, from the startup companies up until civil servants’ vacancy. I was always there in every job fair. Such a job seeker indeed. I got several interviews and several failures at the same time. Yeah, it was not easy.

Though, the most conflicted moment I had was the time when I thought, ‘What I’m going to do? Where I’m going to be?’ Some of my friends had the plans already about where to find a job. Some of them decided to continue education for a better future. I was thinking about taking master degree but I knew it was not the right time. So, searching for job was the way out.  I asked for my parents to let me live in Yogyakarta in two months in purpose to find a job. I thought it was a checkmate to know nothing to do and nowhere to go except hoping for a clue. Everything was grey. I didn’t have a dream job that I should have pursued so I had no ambition at all about a particular job. I took random job that I guessed fit my profile, huft. I was all confused and stressed out about future. Up until one day, I got a call and got offered to the job I’m taking now.

So, life has been better since then. I got a clue of a future I’m going to chase and I really hope I’m on the right track. I meet wonderful new friends here that I’d like to share with you.

For you who are still in the process of searching for the clue of your future, good luck! Never stop hoping and trying until you find back your purpose in life. Happy searching!

And hey, strangers, if you live at Jakarta, let me know. I’m a rebel explorer and need to find companions J

Feel free to leave comment and share your opinion of my post :)

The End

Hello, it’s me again :D

It’s the beginning of April in 2017. Almost midnight. And here I am ready to share my random thoughts. Damn I miss writing so bad! Don’t be doubt to leave this page though because it will be kinda boring :p

I think that I need to share my happiness lately in this my life journal blog. I don’t even remember the last moment I shared with you, guys. College life in 2016 was not easy for me, I guess. It might happen to you too, the last semesters students in the campus, no wonder haha.

What I want to share in this post is a brief résumé of my four years in college. Well, I think it’s 3,5 years by the way because I just ended it on March 27, yeay ^^. Officially, I got my Bachelor of Arts title on March 29, 2017. March in 2017 was epic. Even the beginning of 2017 was epic yet horrible too, hihi. At the beginning of the year, I was clueless about my final thesis and the presentation what so ever. I thought I was not ready at that time. Nonetheless, now I tell you that I am no longer a student of English Letters Department anymore. If you don’t mind, I’ll let you know a secret behind that ;)

Do you believe in writing your dreams on a paper and post it on your wall to make it happen? I did believe in that theory. At the second semester, I participated in a program of my campus to present my dreams. All the students were asked to draw their goals of life in a mindmap. Honestly, I’d like to post my mindmap of dreams here, but it’s kinda embarassing though. So, a bit descriptions maybe?

I have eight goals I’d like to achieve in my college life. Now, I’m counting that I have achieved 6 goals of all of them. Hurray! Two of them was not achieved yet, but I do believe in a second chance. Maybe I’ll go get them one day. The 6 goals are: get cumlaude title when I graduate from university, become a tourguide, work in public relation department in my campus, get into a committee in my campus, start to work in fourth or fifth semester, and finish my study in four years. Yap, those all some of the goals I had. It sounds easy cheesy, maybe. But the fact that I can reach all of them make me proud of myself :D

When I saw that mindmap, I was reminded of my goal: to finish the school in four years. Somehow, it built a strength and power to myself to immediately make it happen. So I wrote another goals in 2017 in another piece of papers that I posted on my cupboard. I wrote down each goal in thesis writing that I should have made in each month in 2017. March, however, was the target month of my thesis presentation. Ups and downs, feeling stressed, confused, angry, everything was there in the process. There was a time of being hopeless and doubt, a time when I did not really believe in my capability, a time when I was not certain of the goal that I wrote. But again, the mindmap was still there. It was like giving me voice of support ‘YOU CAN BLOODY DO IT, DEV!’. And yes, after five months of writing the thesis, I bloody did it. Yeay!

Four years of college have given me a great journey of my educational life. I thought that maybe I was just lucky of being chosen as one of the moderators in an international seminar at my campus, a tutor, or a presenter in a national lingustics seminar. I also did an unforgettable travel to Borneo and other 14 cities in Indonesia which I never thought of before. Then I realize now that maybe it was not because of luck. Maybe it’s  the pay of all hard work that I did. Plus, because of that mind map's voice :D

Indeed, all of the things that I have been through and all of the things I have right now is supported by my wonderful friends. I am really really really thankful for meeting such of those freaks that will always be there to cheer me up and support me. These four years of college would not have been this amazing without my folks. Thank you guys ;)

I think it is a splendid time to stay in Jogja and meet bunch of incredible people that teach me everything. They are really my gurus of life. Now, it’s time to figure out what’s to do next. After Jogja, can you guess which city I’ll live in? :D

To all of my readers, I’d like to encourage you to keep dreaming. To keep struggling and working hard to make it happen. To believe in yourself that you are that capable. To never listen to all of negative criticisms that let you down. To take all of the lessons in your life as a valuable experience. To be thankful and to enjoy and love every step that you take in your life. To never regret the decisions even how stupid they were. To be inspired by this story and start to make your own mindmap of dreams J

Here I post some of the pics of my college-journey-life. Happy scrolling ^^.

Future, huh?

Heloo! Whatsuup? Alright, it’s been a very long time since I wrote the lately posts and right now I just want to share a thought that I get right this second. Before going further, well it’s about future so if you are not really interested you may skip to the other post.

Alright, I am now a student of Semester 5 in a private and quietly famous university in Yogyakarta majoring English Letters. Despite my major I just want to emphasize that it’s not because of my major that I’m writing in English right now but it just because I want to.... well, probably it influences a little to myself that I likely to speak English in my daily conversation, but hah.

Talking about education, well does it interest you? Whoever you are right now, you are probably a student or not, but I believe that most of you have ever experienced what education is. Talking about the experience of acknowledging something, I feel very grateful that I am now continuing my education in university which is a very best choice for majoring English Letters and I also feel very grateful that I can study far away from my hometown, which it has not really good level of university *no offense please*.

I’ve through a lot of experience in learning and this semester is kind of killing. Well, I suppose that if only I could really focus in my class and paid full attention to my lecturers then this semester would not really that difficult for me. As students, we are pushed not only to understand but also analyze the material. I learned about feminist and new criticism, how to relate the short story or poem with the theory, and also phonology, of course, and a lot of things. Yet, the best part was the final examination which I had to write papers for my Prose and Poetry subjects about the relation between the theories that we had discussed in class with Enigma of Arrival by V.S Naipaul and the feminist or new criticism content in My Last Duchess by Robert Browning. It was a bit- well very actually - stressful for me, because I am not a typical of literary person, and I never read that damn book of Naipaul –well, I don’t mean to say the book is bad, but it just the content of the book that I worried. You’ll know how I feel if you read yourself that 300 pages of book.

So after passing the hardest time of this killing semester, I finally can relieve now but I am still worrying about my grade, for sure. If you are also a semester 5 student, then I think we are in the same position, to be grateful it’s finally over. However, it’s not that experience I’d like to share about. It’s about the vision of future.

I’ve been haunted with so many questions of.. you know like, ‘where you’ll be working in the future?’, ‘will you continue to magister?’,‘what will you do with your title?’ or even ‘is there any significant relation between your dream job and your educational background?’. Well, it’s hard to say but I honestly have my future in an abstract vision. I don’t really know where to go after college and where to apply for job. I don’t even think about my thesis yet, but I know positively I’m not going to take literature. However, thanks for the questions because I finally aware of my future right now T_T

Lately, I were asked by my parents to continue my education to magister. They thought that it would be better if I try to search for scholarship abroad. Well, it’s a lovely idea of course, but I feel as if my heart rejected the idea. I don’t know, probably because I actually want to search for a job after graduate later. Yet, I stop and reconsider about it right now.

I realize that the competition in working world is increasing. Even many bachelors are now unemployed. This is the era that luck also determines your success. However I still believe that all the hard works we have done will be paid as worth as it should be. But how can we determine the success in present? How many level of difficulties we have to pass to achieve success? How many ups and downs we have to face? How can we say it’s enough and decide our own success?

To be successful is everyone’s dream, but it’s only few of people do realize the hill they have to struggle. Try to see that thousands of bachelors are now unemployed and try to think that the education in college is not even enough to fulfill our dreams. Even the decision to continue the higher education is not promising to your success. You may have the same awareness with me now that we are struggling in a very hard competitive world.

So what level of competition are you now? Are you gonna put your dreams a little higher than before? What efforts you will do to achieve your dreams?

Your dreams will come true as it should be, only if you contrive it yourself. Your future job will be achieved based on your own effort. So start to plan your effort and prepare for your dreams. Because no one will help you through the hill. It’s only you, yourself.

I am dreaming to get a job or continue my magister abroad and I’m setting up my plan. I hope you do the same. I wish this post will encourage you to think twice about your future, are you gonna to let things happen naturally or set up a shortcut to make your dreams come faster.

Here I give you a testimony of living after college by Jann Im, a pretty Youtuber. She shares her life after graduated from college and it seems almost all she is talking about is damn right. Check it out.

That’s all a little piece of my mind tonight. If only writing my papers would have been this easy. Goodnight!

The Perish

The deathly poison was stink and reek

Once sniff and your head went week

Silver metals were all in here

They said, “Step in and feel the fear”

The hell with goosebumps I walked in

Curious was greater than the chillin

Sterile white floor gave my feet cold

Icy draught stabed into the flesh that I tried to hold

There lying an embalmed sallow pale dead

With dark hair remained rigid and wet

I saw no breath came out from the nose

As the way I felt the loss

I thought it was just nightmare but reality said no. I remembered when u always smiled and laughed to every joke I said tho it wasn't funny at all. She was very sweet and cheerful, it just seemed there was nothing that could make her sad. And I believed till the last time we met, you left me with happiness in your face. We'll always love you. 

See you in another life, Sop 

Religion Talks

Guten abend, everyone :D

Hi, I hope you all guys fine today, because honestly I'm not. Recently, my body seems not really fit. Maybe because I go out too often and breath too much unhealthy toxin and carbon dioxide and cold air of nights. Beyond that, I hope you guys can stay healthy, because being sick is suck.

Okay, enough for the preamble. Let's get to the point. Remember on my last post when I wrote about my discussion with Germany's student last week? I promised you I would share that to you, so here I am.

Diversity is heard pretty and peace in some of people. But I just found out that some of people feel the contradiction. In fact, diversity seems so strange for them. That's what my friends from Germany feel. 

In Indonesia, we have adjusted with differences of background, ethnic, tribe, and religion. It's all because of our ideology that based on Pancasila and Bhineka Tunggal Ika. That ideology succeeds to bound us together, unites us as Indonesian people. We care about our diversity, but we don't take it as the problem our nation has. Nonetheless, we do take it as the quality and identity as Indonesian people.

In that discussion, mostly my friends asked us (I was with some of my friends) how to live among of those people who have different background of religion with us. In this case, I and my friends are all Buddhists and my friends from Germany are all Christians. They are about going to be nuns and pastors and learning Theology. 

My answer was because of the reasons I've written above. Then, they also asked if the situation where we are living now (Indonesia) with that tittle of the Biggest Muslim's Country in the world affects our faith or not.

If you (whoever you are who is reading this now) have a deep believe of your faith now, you must answer that question with your head shaking, just like me. Though there are still several problems that offend some religions in Indonesia, I think it's just a common one. Just like having a discussion group, for instance. It's almost impossible for all of the members to have a same opinion. There must be one or two people who have different opinions. And what we should do about it? Yes, accept that difference and find how to figure it out. In the case of that question, what we (me and my friends) do to face that problem is just keep silent. Buddha once said, just keep silent, listen, and you will understand.

After their time asking question had ended, that was our time to ask. Because they were all keep busy with their dinner (we cooked them Nasi Goreng and they liked it), I asked for Miss Claudia for a question.

"Miss, I wonder something. You know that news about the attack of terrorist -who is believe the member of ISIS- in Paris of a magazine office few months ago. I just wonder, are you guys as Germany people feel threatened with that attack? And what your government do to protect their citizen from that kind of terrorism?"

More or less my question was like that. Then Miss Claudia replied with a surprising answer. Some Germany folks have done some movements against ISIS. In fact, their rights to acknowledge more about someone or something that related to ISIS is limited. Some parts of the land are also forbidden to be visited. That's all what government can do to protect their people. As for Germany people, they protect themselves by keeping their religion or faith as their secret. It's better to interact and socialize with people without knowing what their religions are. 

Talking about ISIS, I follow some news about them. In addition, Indonesia also becomes their target to expand their politic, religion, and territorial. That also frightens me sometimes, but I believe Indonesia will remain the same. I also hope that whoever you are, you will not be hypnotized or effected by that wrong ideology of ISIS. I know you'll stand in a right path. I know you better than that. 

After having that discussion, I feel so much grateful living in Indonesia. I know that Indonesia is the only country in the world that stands on Pancasila and Bhineka Tunggal Ika, which purely came from the elderly, our ancestors, based on our culture. I'm also amazed with my own country. How come that our country -which has so many islands and separated by oceans- can bound so many kind of different background people under those ideologies? That's what we should be proud of and we should keep until the next generation comes. 

For you who have the same thoughts as my friends for Germany before, please be open minded. Take diversity as something pretty and something that can power up your identity instead of lose it. If you can respect one another, I believe you can live in such a peace of life, too. 

That's all for tonight. Cherio :))

Sweet Sweet 17 Sweet!

guess who just turned seventeenth last night? ME! and this post is about I'm...

the anigif above means a lot, yup, absolutely means a lot. I know that I'm such a stubborn, rebel, cocky *sometimes*. year by year, i changes but this time I'll try to be better one. Thank you so much Yolanda for all advice and almost telling anyone my secret, eerrrggh!

well, actually, not so happy but i felt very good and blessed for last night. thank you thank you thank you fellas, for coming and thank you for all the gifts *fall in love with my new pillow and husky dog, and of course an Eiffel necklace, the headset, diary and journal books, and yet the towel embroidered by my name haha* and many many more! (and i surprised how well my friends to get to know me, some of them give me panda and doggie dolls! love love!) thank you for the help my dear Uci and Risa and  Bimo, too. I can't tell you how excited i was when opened the present from them. *are you fcking kidding me, Uci, Risa?!* anyway, cheers!

another birthday gift from Dini and Genda. whoaaaaaa! thank youuu >,<

too much thank you I have to say. may all your wishes and also with mine, come true! *blow the candle* bye :*

Cyrus Ever After

so so happy todaaay!! spent my Sunday with quality time with:

 CYRUS

*maaf post yg ini pake bahasa indonesia aja yaaa. muehehehe*

jadi ceritanya ini sebenernya juga photo studio dadakan yg direncanakan beberapa hari yg lalu. awalnya juga janji jam 4, tapi datengnya sejam kemudian karena dandan, sibuk milih dress, blablabla. *maaf buat kk Retno yg sempet kami buat bete. hahaha* well, yeah, they are my true friends. if someone doubt of the existence of a real true friend, I could say that they are the proves. *loh kok bahasa inggris? haha* emang siih beberapa post yg lama gue udah ngasih tau beberapa hal dan beberapa foto gue bareng Cyrus, tapi ada yang aneh kali ini. yaitu WIDYATUL AINA! you know she's out of town for the last decades right?  *lebaaay* now she's back! although just view days, tapi kami bener-bener manfaatin waktu ini buat ngumpul bareng dengan Cyrus yg lengkap ini *hug*. so tonight, I'm telling you who are they. *dengdengdeng*

yg ini namanya Armina Bionita. pemilik blog luna emaline ini lahir tanggal 1 Desember 1994. walaupun umurnya yg lebih tua dibanding yg lain, tapi dia ini cewek paling lemot, paling penakut, paling suka galau, dan paling-paling lainnya. selain cantik, dia juga pinter. cewek dengan panggilan Ata ini sekarang fokus untuk lulus Universitas Padjajaran untuk ngambil akutansi. 

nah, yg ini nih yang namanya Widyatul Aina. cewek ini juga lahir di bulan Desember tanggal 8 1994. Widy ini orangnya suka ceplos-ceplos kayak gue, cerewet, bawel, dan cewek yang lebih bertipe casual. karena dia masuk aksel, jadi dia lulus duluan deh, huh. calon dokter ini sekarang menuntut ilmu di Universitas Andalas.

nah, si cewek yang anggun dan keibuan ini adalah Shafie Yunia Ulfah. lahir tanggal 27 Juni 1995 ini emang kayak malaikat, best listener, gak pernah perhitungan, pokoknya baik sebaik-baiknya! plus, cewek idaman para pria, wakakakaak *ditempelengsopi*. kalo sofi sih cita-citanya masih dibidang kedokteran. kalo gak dokter kayaknya farmasi deh. eh, gak tau deh. hehehehe :p

ini namanya Trisna Lidya Arifin, panggilannya Risa. lahir tanggal 29 September 1995. kalo ica ini dulunya tuh gak secakep sekarang. dulu tuh tombuooyy abiss! sekarang sih udah muslimah banget ya. dan juga pinter! Risa itu juga pendengar yang baik, lembut, narsis juga, dan gak suka manja-manjaan a.k.a mandiri.  sayangnya dia beda sekolah sama kami. risa bersekolah di SMAN 2 Tanjungpinang. untungnya walaupun beda sekolah tapi gak ada ngaruh sama persahabatan kami ;)

her name is Suci Nuzul Rahmah. cewek ini lahir 7 hari sebelum hari valentine tahun 1996. dulu juga Uci ini cuek abis sama penampilan. tapi semenjak berhijab, jadi makin cantik deh :)). Uci ini tipe yang gak mau ambil pusing, suka yang simple, dan pecinta komik, novel dan film. selain itu, uci juga jago di bidang hitung-hitungan, kayak kimia gitu. cita-citanya juga sepertinya ingin masuk kedunia farmasi juga. 

ohya, yg lagi pegang gitar itu yang namanya kk Retno. dia yang udah ngebantu dibelakang layar photoshoot ini, haha. makasi kk Retno :D

salam dari Cyrus untuk kalian ya. chachaaaa! :*